something by way of an update

hi.

well, i'm a week into my first round of the 21 day fix. the workouts are intense - i'd say impressively so, but really, i'm not surprised. beachbody isn't really in the business of wimpy workouts, and i really love the structure of this one. you go hard for a minute, and then you have a 15-20 second break. the exercises themselves change each round and you repeat each one once. i've got a perfect record right now, and i won't skip a workout in this 3 week period if i can at all help it to keep that up. but to be honest, it's not the workouts that have me feeling so proud. 

it's the nutrition piece. 

i've managed to follow the meal plan with a few asides this week. and when i say a few, i mean a donut, a cookie, and a sweetened tea-lemonade over the course of the week. when i compare that to my eating habits two weeks ago, i almost want to laugh, the distinction is so evident. i'm already seeing results, but i won't let myself remeasure or weigh in til the end of week 2.

i'm feeling more energetic, more fulfilled, and (in general) less hungry, and i'm sleeping better.

imagine that. ;) 

i've also not watched much television recently and have elected to read instead. i generally read more than the average person, simply because i love it, but reading is just good for my brains. it helps me escape for a little bit; it usually puts a smile on my face. 

aside from that, B starts 1st grade tomorrow, and i'm feeling really chill about the whole thing. it's going to be great for her; i'm confident of that. i spent this afternoon relaxing and wandering my little corner of the suburb we're living in at the time, and i'm feeling refreshed and ready for the week. 

and, in happy-making news, a friend of mine owns a great little shop on etsy, Bright Designs. in light of the root that meditation has taken in my life in recent months, i've worked with her to create a custom print for my wall at work that incorporates one of my all-time favorite Beatles songs. below is a picture of it. 

photo is mine. no take-y. lyrics are from The Beatles song, "Across the Universe."

sigh. i love it. talk about a way to bring a little zen right in the middle of your workday. come to think about it, maybe i'll make a little feature for myself on this blog about my favorite songs. anyhoo.

until next time, 

a

everything zen.

i meant to blog once a week, whatever was on my mind, but i was really upset over something last week, and it had me feeling impotent. i'm still thinking on it, so maybe that can be a post for another time. however, what i want to blab about today?

back in january, a couple of my friends seemed to all be aligned regarding where their minds were. instead of making these crazy town goals for the year, they made one single goal to apply across their whole life. mine sounded easy:

find balance.

because that's been something have always been notoriously bad about. i'm slammed at work but still signing up to volunteer. i'm drowning in projects, but still say, "sure, i'll pick another one up." i'm exhausted and feel myself in need of a simple date night in with the husband and still agree to go out instead. it's a hard thing, being good at multi-taslking and organization, because i sometimes allow it to become a hindrance for me. 

so, in 2014, my goal was to find balance. figure out how to calm this storm, keep everything at an even simmer, and learn to hold my peace when everything else is going at hyper-speed. 

i've made remarkable progress, i think.

work keeps my brain going all day, every day, and sometimes into the night, but only once in the last 8 months have i felt stressed at all. i've used my organization to increased efficiencies in my own life, including my responsibilities at work, and as a result, i'm actually using to-do lists as they are intended to be utilized: as a comprehensive way to view and prioritize, not as a way to put everything in one place and then ignore it because there is simply too much. 

we've changed the way that our daughter's schooling will happen; she'll be attending a charter school beginning this year, and not only are we thrilled with the curriculum, but it's minutes from the neighborhood we'd like to buy a house in. convenience makes life simpler and thus easier to keep things in line. 

we've got a plan in place to get out of debt entirely; this, in and of itself, does my heart good.

beyond that, my study of meditation has taken on something of a new design recently. i find myself taking three minutes here and there, as needed, just to breathe in and out and keep my wits and heart about me. this peace is something i can hold onto, and i find it adjusting my interactions with people as well; i'm calmer, less inclined to irritation. And to be honest: taking the few minutes i need is a way to allow self-respect that i never made time for previously. 

recently, i've been trying to get my diet and exercise in line with this simplicity, and so it's only fitting that i'll soon be embarking on a journey with the 21 day fix, which is a simple plan of portion control and exercise that i'm confident i'll have great results in. 

i'm feeling more confident in my abilities, but i've got more to do, and not much of it can be considered "busy work." all in all, i'm breathing easier, but i've got more responsibilities than i have had in previous years. 

all this tells me that i'm doing something right here, something it's my goal to continue. i smile more; i worry less. 

i hope you're doing the same. 

until next time, 

A

head up, eyes forward.

i've recently had something of a reawakening to life in general. but let's back up, yes?

it's been a very difficult year until recently; if i had to select a descriptor, it's wholly possible that i'd use the word 'hellish.' i won't even get into the details, but know that i started this year with exceptionally low expectations, and by the end of january, almost everything i held near-and-dear was called into question. shattered. i felt shattered. three months later, the pieces began to reassemble, slowly but surely, and today, i'm in a better place than i've been in months -- more accurately, probably: years.

i've realigned my mind, my heart, my actions; i've started meditating. i've found a job i love, one that motivates me. somehow, without my knowing it, i'd let them go, and things were just... happening. i'm eating better, exercising, making sure my mind and body are where they should be. i'm reconnecting with people i've lost track of over the years. i've taken back the reins of my life.

in 2013, after a period of two years during which i struggled in many ways, i admitted to dealing with depression. halfway through 2014, i feel stronger, more alive, and more present regarding life in general than i have in a long time.

and a large part of that, i feel, can be correlated to the fact that i'm using the logic in this quote to gauge my everyday life:

I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stumped by this for many years. And then I realized, you just say, 'Hi.' They may ignore you. Or you may marry them. And that possibility is worth that one word. - Augusten Burroughs

it's not new. in fact, it's so old, i don't recall when i found it; i read it in a book years ago. but it's not until recently that i began to truly appreciate and apply it in my life.

for example: thanks to some of the things that have happened this year, where my daughter would be attending first grade was up for debate. a charter school that we knew very little about was opening very near home. on a whim, we looked into the school, liked what we saw, and submitted an enrollment application.

as it turns out, B was accepted.

the thought of, "what if this goes poorly?" has crossed my mind, but the open-minded view portrayed in that quote would direct me to realize that if it doesn't go well, we can move her enrollment, but if it's amazing? if it's the best thing we could ever have found for her educational and social needs? The chance was worth it.

because for me,  the quote is not about meeting new people or traveling or who you marry or how to communicate. it's a manner of looking at things. it's a way to focus your thoughts and actions, a way to stay positive and allow the ebb and flow that comes with life to roll over your shoulders or propel you forward.

keeping your head up is hard. but remaining open to the opportunities that life affords helps.

until next time,
A